Various researches conducted globally on causes of stress often find that divorce and moving rank highly in the top 10 most stressful life events. Both events occurring at once are bound to drive the stress levels to 113%.
No one ever wants their marital affairs exposed to strangers, least of all when things are far from rosy. But you more often than not need to bring in movers to handle a divorce move. Is there a formula you can apply to help you make a wise decision as to who to trust to help you with this sensitive transition? What pitfalls should you avoid, and is there anything you can do to ease the situation?
For all intents and purposes, a divorce move does not differ from other types of moves in terms of execution, so the client generally needs to do the same preparations. However, extra care has to be taken to protect the client and their privacy due to the sensitivity of the move.
Since the divorce process is a trying experience for most, the last thing you want is any additional stress when moving. As such, we have devised this guide to help your transition run as swiftly as possible.
Confidentiality
Confidentiality is the most important aspect for the mover when handling a divorce move, and with good reason:
A lot of couples break up under conditions that are not amicable. With sour relations, the moving process — which is the physical manifestation of the break — is often tense. Some couples do quarrel during the move, in the process airing their dirty linen.
With a reduced household income, a lot of folks opt to move to smaller houses, which can impact their self esteem.
A lot of people get overwhelmed by emotions when moving during a divorce.
A lot of things happen that one wouldn’t like exposed to anyone outside their inner circle.
As such, it is wise to engage a reputable mover that can handle your move discreetly. During your selection process, ask all your candidates explicitly about their privacy policy. Avoid any movers who dodge these questions — it is better to pay a higher price than have your personal affairs strewn all over social media.
On this note, we would like to point out that at Nellions, we have a maxim:
WE DON’T SEE, WE DON’T HEAR, WE DON’T SAY
1. Legal Counsel
Moving before legal issues are settled can bring further chaos down the line. From legal affairs to custody issues, it is essential to consult your lawyer and iron out any legal issues that you may have before moving. In delicate situations where you’re moving out of state or the custody of children is in question, you’ll need to involve your lawyer every step of the way to avoid any legal pitfalls. There may be some legal ramifications to moving out before the divorce is finalised, so talk this out with your lawyer before making the move.
2. Support System
When moving during a divorce, a lot of people tend to get overwhelmed by emotions as the sheer magnitude of their actions hits them. The reality of physically separating from your spouse is a far cry away from the thought of it. Separating your items, encountering old trinkets harbouring long-forgotten memories, and settling into the new reality can all be emotionally upheaving.
While we don’t advocate for having friends around during your move, this is one of the extenuating circumstances where it is prudent to have a friend nearby or on call for any help you may need. They can help with instructing the movers about setting up, and can even keep your kids occupied during the process.
However, having too many friends creates the opportunity for snarky remarks, confrontations and nasty comments especially where both partners are present. It helps everyone involved to begin the day by asking everyone present to maintain courtesy despite how uncomfortable the situation may be.
3. Sort out your belongings
The rush for one partner to move out isn’t worth the stress of arguing over a dining set on moving day. Arrange to meet with your lawyers and have both parties agree on who takes, leaves, or sells items in the home. You don’t want to spend the moving day fighting over who keeps what, or later regretting giving away something expensive or sentimental for the sake of keeping the peace. Furthermore, this helps with making your moving experience as efficient as possible: we’ll avoid split deliveries, that is when an item goes to the wrong partner, thus necessitating a re-delivery.
In the case where you’re selling the house, this is about the right time to contact a realtor so as to secure the best deal possible for your home.
4. Storage helps with uncertainty
A house previously shared with a partner may be too much emotionally or financially for the next phase of your life. Moving may entail downgrading houses or reducing its contents.
Understand that you may not have all the required space for your goods. It is therefore prudent to use a reliable moving company with storage facilities. They can keep your goods safe for you while you settle into your new life.
5. Be Forthright & Sincere
Avoid trying to move when your partner is unaware or disrespecting your partner’s belongings. You never know what trap he/she has set ahead. You want to avoid issues like police drama, gates being sealed, or any sort of scenario that would invite undue interest from third parties in your personal affairs.
If, for example, the moving truck is detained by the police, the moving company will raise some bills for your settlement. Situations like where the moving truck gets damaged due to conflict or moving crew gets hurt may have legal and financial implications for you.
Please disclose the exact nature of your move to the moving company well before your move. This will help the company assign the most appropriate best crew for your job and plan for the job appropriately.
6. Expect the unexpected
Twists always happen during divorce moves. It is the nature of such situations. Remain positive that things will go on smoothly to the end. Remember, though, that an unexpected situation may arise in the process and it is not necessarily anyone’s fault. This is why having a friend or family member nearby is a good idea. We advise to also keep the children away from the moving activity, and to plan the feeding arrangement ahead of time.
7. Make necessary notifications about your change of address
Tell your service providers about your move. From the bank to the insurance company, and even your kids’ school(s), inform them of the change to avoid any confusion in the future. You’ll also need to set a disconnection date for your utilities and a reconnection date for the new address. Here are a few to keep in mind:
- Water
- Electricity
- Internet
- Garbage collection
- Cable TV
- Mail forwarding
- Bills
- Doctors
- Subscription services
- Retirement accounts
Going through a divorce? You don’t have to do it all on your own. Moving is a chore, and doing it during a divorce heaps on more difficulty. You need your move to run as smoothly as possible without the added burden of extra things to worry about. As such, you will find it valuable to involve professional movers in this process. While it may not make the divorce process easier, it will ease this one burden off your shoulders.
And no matter how melancholic you may feel, remember to take care of person number 1.
